QUESTION FOR A RETINA DOCTOR: A POEM WRITTEN DECEMBER 11, 2022

I asked the doctor why he stuck that needle in my eye!

“It’s plain to see!” he told me, “and here’s the reason why!”

“You have an eye condition: macular degeneration.”

“Why do I have this?” I replied.  “What is the explanation?”  

No pause or hesitation for that doctor’s quick reply:

“Because you are on Prolia, and that’s the reason why!” 

“Oh my gosh” I thought at once, “Now I will have to choose!”  

“My vision or my backbone; Oh, which one would I lose?”

At last I made the awful choice: my bones would have to go.

I didn’t get my Prolia shot, the rest, I guess, you know!

Soon after, in a flood of pain, three vertebrae were shot!

Life as I knew it ended, right there on the spot!

No more driving, no more travel, just a lot of pain!

My active life cut with a knife — and sent right down the drain!

Not long afterwards I learned I’d got bad information. 

And why that doctor said those words?  I have no explanation.

All too late I learned that this condition of the eyes,  

Is from osteoporosis, NOT Prolia; but I was too late wise!

                                          ###

WORDS IN A FLOOD-- A POEM -- December 8, 2022

Arrogant, thoughtless words in a flood!

Could it be from a brain that is only a spud? 

So sharp with the needle, so dull with the words, 

That I’m dragging my years like a sack full of turds!

I’ve said it once, twice and I’ll say it again - 

I live with such pointless and unneeded pain!

Some days I just wish that I weren’t alive,  

But venting this anger helps me to survive!

Wherever he is with his careless old tongue, 

I hope he’s not harming folks - aging or young!

My many nice plans for retirement gigs, 

Including some travel and fun with the kids, 

Are consigned to the trash heap of “never to be,” 

For his arrogant thoughtlessness did that to me!

Joan Levin,  December 8, 2022

Dedicated to Dr. Timothy Flood

ABOUT DR. TIMOTHY FLOOD -- A POEM

Dedicated to Dr. Timothy Flood

What can I say about Timothy Flood?

I'd say as an eye doctor he was a dud!

Folks go to their doctors for healthful advice, 

But his was as healthful as maggot-laced rice!

I asked why my eyes had this condition.  

“Because you’re on Prolia!” was his position. 

So I skipped my next Prolia, this is no joke! 

I was scared for my eyes, but instead my back broke! 

The right answer came from an alternate source, 

An ophthalmologist at NIH Eye Institute, of course!  

She could not believe that any physician, 

Let alone an eye doctor, would take Flood’s position!

“Was this really a doctor?” was all she could say.

“A retinal specialist,” I replied, in dismay.    

Now all of the plans I had made for these years, 

Have gone up in smoke, forever I fear! 

And I will be spending the long years ahead, 

Pretty much chained to my room and my bed! 

As for Timothy Flood, I don’t give a damned jingle — 

But I sure hope that quack will retire his shingle!

And that's quite enough about Timothy Flood.

Like Lincoln's assassin, his name should be Mudd!

 December 17, 2022

A RIDDLE -- A POEM

Who would I like to see burning in Hell,

Or living a life with the pain I know well?

The guy whose degrees may make him look smart,  

But who likely can’t tell a poop from a fart?

Whose betraying advice was the worst kind of crud?

(Although his name was not Samuel Mudd!)

Arrogant, posturing dandy, that's him!

But the damage he did me was grisly and grim!

                                       ###

MORE BAD MEDICAL ADVICE!

Here’s the dilemma of Timothy Flood,

A genius with needles, for advice he’s a dud!  

I asked him why I needed shots in the eye.

“Because you’re on Prolia” was his reply!

It sounded so simple, but it wasn’t rue — 

And that’s why I must now explain it to you!

Here’s where I sadly was terribly dumb —

And it should have prepared me for worse things to come!

It’s when Dr. Flood said “You’re a lawyer” (that’s true)

And wanted assurance that I wouldn’t sue!

Now why in the world was he looking for that?

Just by this statement I should have smelled RAT!

Plus Prolia never should have been the main focus;

My eyes were affected by osteoporosis!

I learned that much later when when another doc said, 

The problem wasn’t Prolia, but osteoporosis instead!  

But I hadn’t known that, and this is no joke — 

I was frightened, skipped Prolia, and vertebrae broke!

I  haven’t the language to tell of the pain, 

Each day I bear it again and again! 

If a court could award me a writ of repleven, 

To bring back my broken bones, I’d be in heaven. 

                                      ###

 

HOW DUMB CAN A DOCTOR BE AND STILL BE A DOCTOR?

Dumb as a sack of hammers?  

Dumb as a box of rocks? 

Dumb as any old doorknob?  

Or maybe just dumb as an ox?

                ~~~~~~~

What I want to know is just how that darned fool, 

Made it through college and medical school, 

Let alone having a chance to apply,

He was dumber than dumbness to anyone's eye!

                                  ###