THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES: A PARODY TO PROLIA

To Prolia by JDL

Lyrics © 2021 Joan D Levin

Tune: Thanks for the Memories

Thanks for the constant pain, 

With fractures of the spine,

And eyes that could go blind, 

And dentists scared to treat toothache, 

Because my jaw could break,

I thank you, so much!

And thanks for the itchy skin,

That covers me with bumps, 

Just more of Prolia’s lumps,

I only hope more bones won’t break, 

And leave me with a hump, 

I thank you, so much!

     Like a fool I allowed this disaster

     And got those shots under my skin,

     Now problems come faster and faster, 

     Being lame is a grind, 

     And I’m scared to be blind —

It seems there’s no safe way off,

The truth to you I’ll tell, 

The prospects don’t look well,  

Prolia has sent me on a one way trip to Hell — 

So thank you?  Not much!

                                      ~~~~~~~

As to the eye condition, I have gotten conflicting opinions. One of the retinal specialists who treats the macular degeneration in my eyes said I had this condition because I am on Prolia. 

But the doctor who administers the Prolia says the eye condition is because I have osteoporosis. Two specialists with two different opinions!  Go figure! 

(Note - since this post was written I have learned that contrary to what the eye specialist treating me told me, it was most likely NOT Prolia but the osteoporosis itself that was associated with the macular degeneration.  See other posts about this.) 

And see: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/osteoporosis-prolia-and-macular-degeneration/

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BEACH WATCHING - BUT NO BEACHGOING -- FOR ME

 Saturday June 18, 2022 - 4 p.m.  

A  beautiful beach day here in Chicago as seen in this picture of Oak Steet Beach today.    

I won't be there though.  The pain from my "Prolifrax" (the word I coined to denote the fractures I suffered from the mismanagement of this drug for osteoporosis) has left me pretty much unable to manage even brief excursions like this on my own.

So I'll watch from my balcony as other Chicagoans enjoy this beautiful beach day on Lake Michigan.

Two words describe how I feel today.  

The first is a naughty four letter word beginning with F.  

The second is a six letter word I'll spell out here: 

P-R-O-L-I-A!!!!

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THE LADY OF SHALOTT SPEAKS TO ME!

The Lady of Shalott by Alfred, Lord Tennyson is a poem based on the Arthurian legend of a noble lady imprisoned in a tower where even the brave knight Lancelot cannot save her.  

You may read the entire poem here: 

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45359/the-lady-of-shalott-1832

So imprisoned, the Lady of Shalott spent her days weaving tapestries, inspired by what she could see using a mirror from her small tower window, prompting these lines: 

But in her web she still delights 

To weave the mirror's magic sights, 

For often thro' the silent nights 

A funeral, with plumes and lights 

       And music, came from Camelot: 

Or when the moon was overhead 

Came two young lovers lately wed; 

'I am half sick of shadows,' said 

       The Lady of Shalott. 

As I lie here, mostly confined to my house, in part by  the current COVID-19 epidemic, but mainly by the disabling pain from my Prolia-associated fractures, my primary link with the outside world is television. 

And what is TV but shadows?  

I too am half sick of shadows!

Read more about the Lady of Shalott here: 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lady_of_Shalott

     

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DEALING WITH SOLITUDE -- W. H. AUDEN SAYS IT ALL!

I manage.  That's about it!  Between the COVID-19 epidemic and the vertebral fractures I don't go out, I don't see people, meet friends, etc.  E-mail helps.  Phone calls are nice too but sometimes exhausting and sometimes at bad times.  

I am so in mind of Auden's poem, Night Mail.   

I've posted about it elsewhere as well: 

http://joansgoodstuff.blogspot.com/2022/01/night-mail-by-whauden.html

Especially these lines: 

Asleep in working Glasgow, asleep in well-set Edinburgh,
Asleep in granite Aberdeen,
They continue their dreams,
But shall wake soon and hope for letters,
And none will hear the postman's knock
Without a quickening of the heart,
For who can bear to feel himself forgotten?

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A DILEMMA

Here’s the dilemma of Timothy Flood,

A genius with needles, for advice he’s a dud!  

I asked him why I needed shots in the eye.

“Because you’re on Prolia” was his reply!

It sounded so simple, but it wasn’t rue — 

And that’s why I must now explain it to you!

Here’s where I sadly was terribly dumb —

And it should have prepared me for worse things to come!

It’s when Dr. Flood said “You’re a lawyer” (that’s true)

And wanted assurance that I wouldn’t sue!

Why in the world was he looking for that?

Just by his statement I should have smelled RAT!

Plus Prolia never should have been the main focus;

My eyes were affected by osteoporosis!

I learned that much later when when another doc said, 

The problem wasn’t Prolia, but osteoporosis instead!  

But I hadn’t known that, and this is no joke — 

I was frightened, skipped Prolia, and vertebrae broke!

I  haven’t the language to tell of the pain, 

Each day I bear it again and again! 

If a court could award me a writ of repleven, 

To bring back my broken bones, I’d be in heaven. 

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I CAN NO LONGER HANDLE BOOKS!

An unfortunate part of my life as I deal with the painful effects of osteoporosis and the Prolia that was supposed to treat it, not make it worse, is that managing books is just too painful.   

I've given a lot of them away!  Here are some of the categories!

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LOOKING EASTWARD FOR ANSWERS

The Hindu deity Shiva, often described as the Destroyer and Transformer, was considered necessary in order for new life to emerge.  

                           

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shiva 

Now that Prolia and/or its medical mismanagement have pretty much destroyed my active and relatively pain-free body and life, I wonder how this will be transformed and what will emerge? 

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WHAT MY VERTEBRAL XRAYS LOOK LIKE

Here's what my vertebral xrays look like.  It's hard to read the xrays in this medium, but this picture gives a good idea!

 

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